Mouse vs Me: The Ultimate Standoff of Intelligence, Fear and Peanut Butter

It was an ordinary evening- well as ordinary as it gets in my life. I was my own business, scrolling through memes, contemplating my questionable life choices and enjoying the peace of my domain. Little did I know, a war was about too begin. A tiny flicker of moment caught my eye. A small, swift shadow darted from under my desk. I froze. The neurons in my brain that were previously engaged in intellectual discussions (read: trying to remember where I left my charger) instantly abandoned their duties and activated full fight-or-flight mode.

A mouse.

Now in theory, I am a rational human being- equipped with intelligence, reasoning skills and the ability to open doors and order food online. This tiny, whiskered, four-legged trespasser should not have been a problem. And yet, at that moment, my brain classified this creature as an immediate existential threat.

Thus began The Great War of Mouse vs Me.

Act 01: The Psychological Warfare

Here’s the thing about mice. They are biological ninjas- highly trained in the ancient arts of speed, agility and vanishing into this air. Their resume includes:

• Advanced stealth techniques (can move without making a sound.)
• Body elasticity superpowers (can fit into spaces that defy the laws of physics.)
• Acute psychological warfare tactics (knows exactly when to appear to cause maximum panic.)

Meanwhile, I, the human- a so called dominant species- stood frozen, questioning my very existence. I grabbed a shoe, then a book, then a random water bottle, trying to decide on my weapon of choice. My heart was pounding. The mouse, on the other hand, remained completely unbothered by my internal crises.

Mouse=1

Me= 0

Act 02: The Failed Traps

As the responsible adult that I pretend to be, I turned to my most trusted source of wisdom: Google.

Trap Attempt One: The Classical Cheese Trap

According to every single cartoon, I have ever watched, mice loves cheese. So, naturally, I set up a piece of cheese in the middle of a makeshift trap. Result: The mouse ignored it completely as if I had just offered it a tax form to fill out. I later learned that mice don’t actually prefer cheese. Hollywood lied to me.

Mouse: 2

Me: 0

Trap Attempt two: The Sticky Tape Trap

This one was supposed to work. I placed double-sided tape in key positions, thinking the mouse would step on it, get stuck and I could then gently remove it from my home. Result: The mouse maneuvered around every single piece of tape like a seasoned parkour athlete. At this point, I was starting to believe this mouse was not just any ordinary rodent- it was a trained secret agent sent by a higher force to break me.

Mouse: 3

Me: 0

Trap Attempt Three: The Bucket Trap

I found an elaborate plan online involving a bucket, a ramp and a bait. The idea was simple: Mouse sees a delicious bait on the ramp, mouse climbs the ramp, mouse reaches for the bait, gravity does it thing and mouse falls into the bucket. Result: The mouse did not show up. I sat there for TWO HOURS, staring at an empty bucket like an idiot, only to realize the mouse had outsmarted me yet again.

Mouse: 4

Me=0

At this point my respect for the mouse was growing faster than my frustration.

Act 03: The Existential Crises

I sat on my bed, feeling utterly defeated by a creature that weighs less than a smartphone. This tiny rodent had somehow managed to challenge my intelligence, patience and very identity as human being.

Why was I even scared of it?

Logically, it couldn’t harm me. But my irrational fears painted a different picture. Possible (but unlikely) horrors my brain invented.

1. The mouse jumps on my face in my sleep.
2. The mouse brings its entire family for a housewarming party.
3. The mouse steals my snacks, thus becoming my arc nemesis.
4. The mouse secretly controls my house like Ratatouille, but instead of cooking, it’s ruining my life.

I had to admit it: the mouse was living rent-free, not just in my home but in my mind.

Mouse: 5

Me: 0

Act 04: The Negotiation

At this point, I had two choices: continue living in fear or take control of the situation. I took a deep breath, sat down, and thought about it rationally. This mouse wasn’t some evil mastermind trying to ruin my life. It was just… there. Doing its mouse things. Existing in my space, whether I liked it or not.

And then it hit me. How many things-no, people-do I treat like this mouse?

How many times, I have ignored someone’s presence, pretending they don’t exist just because acknowledging them would require effort? That old school friend who reached out, but I never replied. That neighbor I avoid making eye contact with because then I’d have to make small talk. That one family member I haven’t checked on in months because, “Life got busy”.

Mice like people, don’t disappear just because you refuse to acknowledge them. And sometimes, just like this mouse, people might not be harming you in any way- but by ignoring them, you let them take up space in your mind turning a small problem into an emotional war you never intended to fight. Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away. It just gives it power over you.

Step 1- Accept that the mouse exist: Ignoring it, wasn’t working. Pretending it wasn’t there just made me more paranoid. Much like how ghosting people never actually ends a situation- it just make things awkward forever.

Step 2- Understand What they Actually Want: The mouse didn’t break into my house because it has a personal vendetta against me. It just wanted food and warmth. Similarly most people in our lives- whether it’s an old friend, a family member, or a coworker we avoid- aren’t trying to cause trouble. They just wanted to be acknowledged, heard or understood.

Step 3- Respond don’t React: Instead of panic-running with a shoe, I set up a trap strategically. Instead of ghosting someone because I don’t know how to respond , I could just…reply. Or set a boundary, or have a conversation. The key difference? I took control instead of letting the situation control me.

Final Showdown: Releasing the Mouse

The next morning, the trap worked. The mouse was inside, probably mad about being outsmarted but otherwise unharmed. I took it outside, opened the trap and watch it run off into the wild- where it belonged. And in that moment, I felt something unexpected. Relief; Not just because I had won, but because, I finally faced the situation instead of avoiding it.

It’s funny how we let small things we refuse to deal with grow into monsters in our heads. Sometimes, it’s a mouse. Sometimes, it’s a person. Either way the solution is the same: Face it, deal with it, Let it go. Because what you ignore doesn’t disappear. It just takes up space in you life. And if you keep avoiding it, you might just wake up one day and wonder- Time to ask: Are you a potato?