PERMA: The Happiness Blueprint

Let’s talk about happiness. You know, that elusive thing we’re all chasing- like a squirrel chasing a nut in a Pixar movie. Some people think it is about a high-paying job or a dreamy vacation, while others think it is hidden somewhere in the perfect avocado toast. But if I told you that happiness is not about what you “have” but about what you “do” and how you “think”?

According to positive psychology, happiness is not a mystery or a unicorn we’ll never catch. It’s a “science”. And science is cool because it gives us framework, like the PERMA model, to explain what’s really going on inside our brains when we feel “happy”.

So, let’s dive into this magical world of gratitude, purpose and why your brain is sometimes an idiot.

Meet PERMA: The Recipe for Happiness

Martin Seligman: The father of positive psychology, came up with this thing called the PERMA mode. It is basically a cheat sheet for living a fulfilling life. Think of it as your happiness recipe- except the ingredients are things you can control (so no fancy gadgets or overpriced spices required). Here’s what PERMA stands for:

P – Positive Emotion:

This is the “feel good” stuff – joy, hope, love and that weirdly satisfying feeling when you peel the plastic off a new gadget. Positive emotions don’t make you smile; they literally rewire your brain to be more creative, resilient and open to opportunities. Dopamine, the feel good chemical, floods your brain during moments of joy. But here is the catch- dopamine is like that friend who gets bored easily. To keep it flowing, you need to actively seek out things that make you happy.

What’s fascinating is that these positive emotions don’t need to be grand moment. Even small, everyday joys- like savoring your morning coffee or laughing at a dumb meme- can create a ripple effect that boosts your over-all well-being. So don’t underestimate the power of little things.

E – Engagement:

Have you ever been absorbed in something that you lost track of time? That is engagement, also known as “flow”. It happens when you are doing something challenging but rewarding- like playing chess or painting or figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet. Engagement pulls you into the moment and gives your brain a break from overthinking. Basically, it’s like hitting the “Do Not Disturb” button on your mental chaos. And the beauty of engagement ? It can come from the simplest activities, as long as they capture your attention.

Whether you are gardening, coding or trying out a new recipe, the key is finding something that stretches your skills without overwhelming you. The balance is where the magic of flow happens.

R – Relationships:

Humans are wired for connection. Even the introverts. Studies shows that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness. Whether it’s family, friends or that random barista who remembers your name, relationship creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

And no, Instagram followers don’t count! sorry.

In fact, one study showed that people with deep, meaningful connections live longer and report better overall health. Loneliness on the other hand, has been linked to stress, depression and even physical illnesses. So, maybe call that friend you have been meaning to text- it’s good for your soul (and theirs).

M -Meaning:

Here’s a mind blowing thought: happiness is not about being happy all the time. It’s about having “meaning”. This could be a cause you care about, a goal you are working toward, or simply making the world a slightly better place. A holocaust survivor and psychologist, once said,

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue”

– Viktor Frankl

In other words, meaning makes happiness happen- kind of like a side effect of living a purposeful life. And here’s the Kicker: Meaning doesn’t have to come from world changing ambitions. It can be simple as helping someone in need, mentoring a colleague or even just being there for your loved one. Purpose is about the contribution, no matter the scale.

A -Accomplishment:

You know that smug little feeling when you tick something off you to-do list? That’s accomplishment. Whether it’s finishing a marathon or finally doing your laundry, achieving goals builds confidence and makes you feel like you’ve got this whole “adulting” thing under control. The trick is to set goals that are realistic and aligned with your values. Don’t try to do everything at once ; start small and celebrate your progress. Even tiny wins add up over time. creating a momentum that drives you forward.

Why Gratitude Works Like Magic?

Okay, so we know what happiness is made of. But how do we get there? Enter “gratitude”. Gratitude is like a happiness hack of for your brain. It shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s already good in your life. Think of it as a mental reset button.

Here’s how it works: When you practice gratitude- whether it’s writing in a journal or just saying “thank you” more often- you train your brain to notice the positives. Over time, this rewiring makes you happier and more optimistic. It’s like upgrading your brain’s operating system to Happiness 2.0.

And here’s the crazy part: Gratitude doesn’t just make you feel good, it also improves your health, relationships and even your sleep. So, basically, it’s like the Swiss Army knife of emotions.

The Power Of Purpose

If gratitude is a secret sauce of happiness, then purpose is the main dish. Purpose gives your life direction and makes the hard stuff like work, stress and Monday mornings -feel worth it. Studies show that people with a strong sense of purpose are happier, healthier, and live longer. Why? Because purpose gives you something bigger than yourself to focus on. It’s like having a north star, guiding you through the purpose of life. Purpose doesn’t have to be some grand, life changing mission. It can be as simple as helping others, being a good parent or creating something meaningful. Even mundane tasks, when tied to larger purpose, can feel rewarding.

Happiness isn’t a destination you reach and forget about- it’s a habit, built through small, daily choices. Gratitude shifts your perspective, purpose adds meaning and the PERMA meaning? It’s like a blueprint for a fulfilling life. But too often we treat happiness like a task on a to-do list, something to chase- rather that cultivate. Sound familiar? It’s a same trap we fall into with procrastination- waiting for the “perfect moment” instead of just starting.(If that hits home, then you might enjoy my blog on The Psychology of Procrastination: Why we Delay and How to Stop!). So, next time you find yourself chasing happiness, pause, look around. The ingredients are already there- you just need to start cooking.