The Great Waiting Game: Why Life Feels Like One Big Loading Screen

There are few things every single human on Earth has in common. We all breath oxygen. We all sleep. And we all spend an unholy amount of time waiting.

Waiting for success. Waiting for love. Waiting for a text back. Waiting for the weekend. Waiting in the line at the DMV, where the time seemingly slows down just to make you suffer. If you zoom out far enough, life starts to look a lot like one big, frustrating, never-ending loading screen.

But why? Why does waiting feel so unbearable? And why does our brain, a supposedly advanced problem-solving machine, react to it like an impatient child on a road trip screaming, Are we there yet? Let’s dive in.

The Brain Vs. The Progress Bar

Your brain has two main modes: Active mode and Waiting Mode

• Active Mode: When you are doing something that gives you a sense of agency- working on a project, playing a game, binge- watching a show- you feel in control. Time zips by.
• Waiting Mode: When you’re stuck in limbo, waiting for something external to happen, time slows to a crawl, and your brain starts tapping its metaphorical foot in frustration.

Why does this happen? Because deep down, our brain hates uncertainty. And waiting is uncertainty in it’s purest form. Think about it:

1. If you knew exactly when you’d get promoted, you wouldn’t stress about it as much.
2. If you knew the exact date you’d find your soulmate, you wouldn’t waste time overanalyzing every text.
3. If you knew that the traffic jam would clear in precisely 7 minutes, you wouldn’t angrily honk at the guy in front of you.

The problem is, life doesn’t give us clear progress bars. We don’t get a little pop-up that says, Loading: Life Upgrades- 73 percent complete. Instead we are left to stew in a frustrating abyss of maybe and someday. And our brains? They do not like this.

The Three Types of Waiting

There are three main types of waiting, and each one messes with your brain in a unique way.

1. The Short-Term Wait (Mildly Annoying):

This is the everyday waiting we all deal with: waiting for the microwave to beep, waiting for a webpage to load, waiting in line at Starbucks behind someone ordering a “venti half-caf soy caramel macchiato with extra foam but not too much foam”. These waits are not soul-crushing, but they still feel way longer than they actually are. Why? Because of something called the Oddball Effect– our brains pay way more attention to unexpected or boring events, which makes time drag.

Ever notice how a minute on hold with customer service feels like an eternity, but an hour spent scrolling social media vanishes? That’s the Oddball Effect at work.

2. The Medium-Term Wait (Emotionally Taxing)

Now we’re getting serious. This is the waiting that starts to eat your soul:

• Waiting to hear back after a job interview.
• Waiting for someone to text you first.
• Waiting for exams result, a loan approval, or your online order to arrive.

These waits are awful because they mix two things humans are notoriously bad at handling: delayed gratifications and fear of rejection. Your brain desperate for closure, starts filling in the blank with worst-case scenarios:

• They haven’t texting back. Did I say something weird? Are they ghosting me? Am I going to die alone?
• It’s been a week since my job interview. They obviously hated me. I should probably start living in the woods.

Of course, 99 percent, of the time, the answer is something mundane like they got busy, or HR is slow, but our brains don’t like simple explanations. They prefer existential meltdowns.

3. The Long-Term Wait (Existential Crises Territory)

This is the waiting that defines entire chapters of our lives. It’s the Big Stuff:

• Waiting to “figure out” your life.
• Waiting to finally feel happy or successful.
• Waiting for the right moment to do something.

The worst part? Sometimes, what we’re waiting for never actually arrives. We tell ourselves, I’ll be happy when, I get that promotion, only to get it and immediately start waiting for the next thing. We keep pushing happiness into the future, unknowingly turning our existence into one giant waiting game.

Congratulations! You just unlocked the Hedonic Treadmill, where no matter how much progress you make, your brain moves the finish line. Fun, right?

How To Stop Feeling Like Life is One Big Loading Screen

So, how do we stop waiting and actually start living? A few strategies:

1. Trick your Brain with Fake Progress Bars:

Your brain loves seeing progress. That’s why video games XP Bars and Duolingo streaks are so addictive. Use this to your advantage:

• Instead of waiting for “success”, break it into milestone you can measure.
• Instead of waiting for a dream job, track how many applications you send.
• Instead of waiting for happiness, build small daily habits that makes life enjoyable now.

2. Make waiting More Entertaining and Embrace the Chaos:

If you are stuck in a waiting phase, fill it with something engaging. Podcasts, books, side projects- anything that stops your brain spiraling into, “why isn’t this happening yet!” territory. Sometimes, the best way to stop waiting is to just… stop caring about the wait. Accept that the uncertainty is the part of the ride. If you are always focused on what’s next, you’ll miss what’s now.

Imagine if Mario spent his whole adventure waiting to rescue the princess instead of enjoying all the coins, power ups and stomping along the way. That’s how most of us live- so focused on the end goal that we forget the game itself is supposed to be fun.

At the end of the day, life isn’t a loading screen- it’s just…life. Messy, unpredictable and occasionally frustrating, sure, but also full of weird, wonderful moments happening right now. So, stop waiting. Or at the very least, make the waiting less miserable. Because if life really was just one big loading screen, wouldn’t you rather be playing the game instead of staring at the progress bar? Your brain hates waiting, but you can trick it into making life feel less like a DMV line and more like an adventure. In fact, I explored this idea in, The Comfort of Pointless Rituals, where I delved into how small, seemingly meaningless habits shape our perception of time and control. Also, please don’t scream, Are we there yet? at the universe. It doesn’t know either.